I am new here to the blogging world, and frankly I haven’t actually thought all that much about what I was going to write. I love to ramble and rant which a lot of people find annoying, some even find it amusing (which I find weird), but here we are, and the first ever topic I would like to write about in blog format, is spiders, and why I personally believe they are the spawn, and at a stretch, the minions of Satan himself.
I would like to start off by saying that I am not a religious man. I believe that we all descend from nothing more than mere primordial ooze. Sure, both concepts sound strange, but I’d rather believe that we were once chickens, than believe that we were placed here based on the whimsy of some form of deity, a deity who is all powerful and knowing, yet gets pissy when I get a tattoo or say that he doesn’t exist.
Everything that is bad in the world I believe can be attributed to nature, or the imperfection of man. But when I look at a spider, it honestly makes me question whether or not a lord of the underworld truly exists. They look like something you’d see in a horror movie, they move like they’re about to commit a serious crime, and frankly anything with more than four legs should be eradicated from history. Some fools have told me that they do good, that they catch ‘flies’ or whatever it is they want the call them, but I call bullshit! I have never seen a web that has had a fly in it! Webs and flies seem to be able to coexist in my household, which is another reason why I hate spiders!
Apparently spiders outnumber humans 500,000,000 to one or some crap like that, does there really need to be this many of them? There is only one explanation, the dark lord himself is behind this ungodly amount of pure evil. You heard it here first, I now recognize the existence of Satan, fuck it, I’m off to join a cult.